tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44658565532446806032024-03-09T07:12:50.529+05:30mysoor pak conversationsRandom. Obtruse. Vivid. Skeletal remains of my thoughts.Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.comBlogger45125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-79777070440418924022010-08-13T14:37:00.003+05:302010-08-13T17:26:47.897+05:30Dance, Music and Beloved Chennai<div style="text-align: justify;">I retire from the humid afternoon heat here at Chennai, which seems to be getting unbearable. Several tumblers of water that I have downed have sparingly quenched my thirst. I contemplate turning on the air conditioning, and then reject the idea for fear of my increasing dependence on luxury. My hair is partly wet from the oil bath that I have indulged in, on the Friday of the auspicious <i>Aadi</i> month, and partly from the salty sweating that is indispensable to this coastal city.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">This is the tamil month of Aadi, and Tuesdays and Fridays are considered auspicious. Married women pray for their husband's well being and longevity. At temples, the deity is adorned with the best of ornaments and the alankarams for the Gods and Goddesses are simply spectacular. It is a month of food and festivals.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But this apart, the Metro Plus supplement that accompanies The Hindu ( a newspaper of wide circulation) is filled, flooded and flowing with events held and to be held at the city. The Chennai edition of The Hindu's Friday Metroplus (earlier Friday Review) is always an art connoisseur's delight. More so, today.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">There is a review of the recent 3- day dance festival of the IDA- pictures et al. And there has been ballets and solo recital of almost every top notch Bharatanatyam dancer from Vyjayanti Mala to the Dhananjayans; Padma Subramanyam to A.Lakshmanan. Then there was the brain child of T.M.Krishna and Bombay Jayashri - Svanubhava - a platform for the doyens of music, dance and cinema. There is also an ongoing play fest sponsored by the Hindu Metro Plus involving theatre groups from as far as Korea. The paper also carries an announcement of Bombay Jayashri's Bhaire Baanvari, a musical representation of the saint Mira Bai that is going to be staged tomorrow's at the city's quintessential auditorium - The Music Academy. There is also DAMA's (Dastkar Andhra Marketing Association) exhibition of handloom textiles from Andhra Pradesh at the Lalit Kala Academy. This apart there is the routine list of special pujas at the various temples, many with a significant mythological background.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Sigh!!! Add to this is the Aadi sale at almost every shop in the city.Who could be bored in a city like this? All this and it's not even the Marghazi month (december-january) which is famous for the dance and music festival, where every sangeeth sabha in the city organises <i>kutcheris</i> (music performances) and <i>upanyasams (</i>religious discourses).</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It seems like Chennai is oozing with culture and has one or other offering for the creative mind, and a haven for the culturally inclined. The city is sizzling under the heat of the sun, but its people are dancing to fine tunes and humored by great stage plays. I hope things just get better from here.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"> </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-74825869744182657362010-07-29T19:30:00.001+05:302010-07-29T19:35:53.692+05:30Dear Ma<p class="MsoNormal">I wrote this long-long ago and it was lying in my drafts. In fact, it's time now to write a sequel to this. Still, I thought I'll put it up:</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Dear Ma,</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I want to write this once,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Just once and it will be end,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Of gossip stories – so many by the ounce.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I thought I was your friend,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I thought I knew you well,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I thought you will stand,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">By me as I fell.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">But I know there is another side,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The other side of you,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">That went through pain like hell,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I have taken cue.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">But there did come a time,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">When I was about to become,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">A big girl, and marry,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">which was no big crime.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">But you suddenly changed,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And went the opposite way,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And I was suddenly framed,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As dirty as wet clay.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">He was the one you chose,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As I promised it would be that way,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Yet like my enemy you rose,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Much to my dismay.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now some time has passed,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And my anger is wearing away,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I think I’ve healed very fast,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Exactly as you may.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I still love you Ma,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Love you like never before,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I still love you Ma,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Love you like never before.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">And that I realise,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Is because I have decided that’s how it is,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’ve decided, and that’s final,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">And that won’t go amiss.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-34101601829667425302010-05-13T11:32:00.002+05:302010-05-13T12:37:19.719+05:30Just Doing Nothing....<div style="text-align: justify;">I have been hopping between windows peering at people's facebook profiles, contemplating finishing the book I've been reading, and also finding new reasons to evade the text book on direct and indirect taxes. It's a week day, I'm on long leave of absence from work, and therefore have the luxury of complaining about the boredom, the unrelenting sun and the extra-soft mattress. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Some time back I was pondering over the possibility of my next blog post being a book-review - "The Better Man" by Anita Nair. I have not particularly enjoyed the read so far. I wonder if that is another sign of having grown up. The previous book authored by her that I had read when I was back in early college was "Ladies Coupe" and I was truly in love with her. So much so that I prided living in Bangalore, the same city that the author lives in. But with this book it's vastly different. Some characters are well sculpted, but there is some shallowness I find with the rest. I have grown up, I tell myself. My taste has matured. I decide upon Vikram Seth's title when I go book shopping next.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And then the face-book profiles distract me. Mostly my class mates from school. People I have not heard of in ages - ever since class 12. We are now in the mid twenties. And it seems uniform. The girls mostly have sultry pictures of themselves with peers from their work or university. Its quite typical - Black/red tops, heavily kohl lined eyes, painted nails, dangling earrings. Something felt silly. As if they have stayed at 18. Or it's possibly just me. May be I'm the one who is strange. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I have the time to make these indulgences now. And I miss those days I spent by myself in the later days of college, when it appeared that I was the only one in that whole city who chose to stay single. Sometimes I felt alone. I chided myself for being unattractive. But now, I've been married a year now. I've lost that grouse as well. I certainly don't miss being single. I'm not alone any more. But I miss being on my own. Taking off on a stroll just like that. Long naps. Doing nothing. No questions. No answers. A single room, I kept straightening time and again was my pastime. And thoughts. That was then - some four years back. It all looked so disdainful then. But now, looking back there was colour. And I'm happy with the way it was.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Even now, between typing this, sneak peeking into other peoples face book profiles, missing my husband and my old life, thinking about how much my life will have turned in a month from now, thinking of the air conditioning in which to enjoy my noonly siesta, my head nods, and I stop right here.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-37433604260206748062010-05-06T17:54:00.002+05:302010-05-06T18:10:34.364+05:30Come back!<div style="text-align: justify;">Yea. Well I decided I will not wait until a year before I publish the next post.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">And so after a great big deal of contemplation and mulling over,I'm typing this...the heat from my laptop nearly singeing the skin of my thigh, as if the summer drone were not enough.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I keep thinking about this space even when I don't write here. I'm glad it exists and I'm even more glad that its mine. Wholly mine. Not up for any kind of accommodation or compromise. Just there, as I tailor it. Up for comments, yet will simply be there. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I've considered moving - moving from here. And have dismissed the idea. The thought comes more because some people think they can or do in fact, keep track of my life and its very interesting, serpentine events through this medium. There is a point there I know. And it stops at that.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">For now, I stay here. Hope to come back more often. </div>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-18624562818425440702009-12-28T13:42:00.004+05:302009-12-28T15:34:35.967+05:30Ummm... I don't know!<div align="justify">Well, right now I think my blog would have been ready to write its last and final testament (read: will), but for the complete absence of a fitting heir. And so, it decides to pull on, in the dreary winter of Bangalore, with the last remanants of its owner's sympathy.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">It's not only lately, that I've realized that my conversations are vastly different from what they used to be some time ago. It's more about prices of vegetables and pulses, how to set the curds, and the best way to wash my husband's whites. Damn! I think I never did notice the little house holder creep under my skin. And I see it's here to stay for a long long time to come. I'm unsure how to assess this change, and whether to classify it as good or bad. It's possibly inevitable, and a necessary part my evolution from a girl to a wife. It's also something I cannot avoid like the way I ignore fashion. </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">It's the effect of age that no therapy or spa or plastic surgery can mask. It seems to have its own world of fundamental rights, and its right to be present in everyone's life is undeniable. I can see that things will swell from here, and I must admit that there is a certain amount of excitement, that real adult life is now mine. </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">I pride in buying green peas at five rupees lesser than the colleague who sits across my table, and yet every morning the thought of fixing breakfast and lunch exerts more pressure on me than finishing an assignment at work. It's evolution I think and it's natural. </div>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-53090948265250055532009-08-15T08:53:00.002+05:302009-08-15T10:16:47.488+05:30Achcham Undu- Achcham Undu!!<div style="text-align: justify;">Its rarely that I take the initiative to book movie tickets. I do it out of extreme emotion, and ya may be when I'm pmsing. This was one such circumstance too. I was compelled to want to watch a tamil movie. The one running at the hip' multiplex was the title of this post.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Well, I don't usually take the trouble of reading reviews before I watch a movie. I do not like to bias my mind. But really, it's no such fancy thought.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">The movie I'd say was good. Very good.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Its cosy and tart, with the perfect humour,that does not make it embarrassing while watching with a male counter part. None of that indecent, sex oriented comedy, that has brought me to loathe tamil cinema, dominated by the prototyped, cliched slapstick humour. This one was good, with a fair dose of romance between the hero and heroine, a married couple settled in New Jersey, with one daughter, a son on the way, a beautiful home and a snazzy convertible. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">When they decide to paint their basement, they unknowingly, hire the services of a paedophile painter, who abducts and kills children. Their adorable daughter is his next target. And the movie is centred around his attempt to get her, and their escape. What I also loved about this movie is that they decide to heed their sixth sense, which continuously, sends out warning signals.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Although the story is not gory or bloody or violent, I let out a squeal of fright, some where midway where the scene does get you on the seat's edge.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">It culminates, on a good note with the happily ever after end, and some irksome facts about child sex abuse around the world. I appreciate the movie in all earnest, and recommend that every parent and child watch this movie, to come to terms with the real world. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">What I did miss, was my dear 'H', who is out of town, and butter popcorn and coke, which I skipped, thanks to the little guilt worm, which has now caught up with me.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Cheers!!!</div>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-16369388742825006822009-08-06T11:24:00.008+05:302009-08-06T12:43:05.251+05:30The Guilt Worm's Appearance<div align="justify">One morning as I lazily strolled into my office complex trying my best to fake repentance for being late yet again, and trying even harder to appear as if in a hurry, I glanced drooling at the attractive display board of a french cafe that seemed to have opened recently. "La Boulangerie" I read aloud, in a fake and probably very incorrect french accent. And so that cafe became a delightful item on my to-do list.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">I went there yesterday. A friend and I in fact. And I've been trying to lose weight. Thinking of that, I get the feeling I've been doing that since I was in my mother's womb. No. May be I'm wrong. May be I died fat in my previous birth. I'm still working on it. Mind you.</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">Ok. Detour. Apologies. </div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">The stuff on display was so inviting. I did not care to think I was never going to achieve the feat of being able to see my </div><div align="justify">toes, without bending over. So we ordered. Not garishly. Just sensibly. One at a time till we reached satiety. And went right past that. I think I've got a rule in friendship. I only make friends with those who love food. We almost always catch up over food. And we never order diet cokes or salads. </div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">When we finished I felt a little guilt worm tugging at my heart. And so did she (my friend I mean). But it did not matter. There was reason to celebrate ( and when there's no reason, we're eating cos we're depressed. It's a conspiracy if you did not note.)</div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">The worm now has my whole heart in its claws. But i give myself time. Four days. I'm finally settling down. I 'm going to do something about the excess kilograms. And I certainly don't want this to be my dying wish.</div>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-81334046111237132462009-07-28T09:19:00.003+05:302009-07-28T09:35:21.175+05:30The lethargic,loose-ended rabbit!<div style="text-align: justify;">I've been pampering myself with luxury lately. Lots of time to just settle into the new life I have become acquainted with. At the end of most days, if I try to take stock of what exactly I have accomplished, it would take not considerate effort in arriving at result zilch. Well, hugs to me. I love me.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So prolonged leave from work - physical and professional. The only thing I exert my mind over is the ocassional su-doku in the Hindu. I read, constant mental exercises keep Alzhimer's/Parkinson's at bay. I think thats the only illness I'm saving myself from considering my lethargic lifestyle. I've taken the liberty of being foolish and procrastinating about everything I have to do. Money, exams, work, weight. Damn! the last word of that sentence really hurts now. And the harder it hurts, the lesser I do anything about. Thats my definition of tolerance I think. So even though I know nobody really reads this stuff anymore (boo-hoo!! sob!sob!)I still think its worth spending my early morning on. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">I'm hoping this phase is drawing to a close. I think my loose ends are being tied up. Nah! I'm not dying yet. Things are not thaaaat final. I'll still be around. I feel like a rabbit now. And on that note, Amen!!!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Cheers to a brighter tomorrow!</div>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-42212161382392286992009-07-17T12:53:00.005+05:302009-07-17T13:39:36.110+05:30Of Cooking and Cowardly WritingI'm tempted to start this post by explaining my absence so long. Its a horde of reasons. I read this line somewhere: <div><br /></div><div><b><i>...you know its a good blog when you have to pause a second before giving the address to someone you already know because there is stuff in there that you do not really want to share...</i></b></div><div><b><i><br /></i></b></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So there has been more than one ocassion where I've resisted the urge to just come here and pour my heart out, and fret about all those little mean, ugly and nasty things that happened to me or rave and rant about the little sweet somethings that my life has suddenly become filled with, post marriage.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">So call me a coward, if thats what it is, but I just can't get myself to spill that fervent emotion here in this space, like I have done on many an ocassion before. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">But all this wrangle apart, I have been doing some good stuff on the home front. And I've tried my culinary talent, much to H's delight. One of my own, original recipes, has been published by a dear blog friend <a href="http://swarskitchen.blogspot.com/2009/07/amla-goose-berry-rice-recipe.html"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;">here</span></a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#FF0000;"> . </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">Inspired by that, I decided to dish out another creative yummy delight, which made us (H and I) laugh till our stomachs ached, and almost made us go hungry last night. Here is what you should not try:</span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">Never mix mango puree with whole wheat flour and have the mistaken impression that you could possibly dole out a mango paratha. Well that just does not happen. What really happens you will waste nearly 2 juicy, tasty mangoes and half a kilo of wheat flour. But if you really want a good laugh, do something more original. </span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#333333;">Had your share of cooking disasters? Leave them here...</span></div>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-77906879355698134622009-06-10T10:27:00.000+05:302009-06-10T12:26:46.253+05:30Living from the pagesSuddenly last evening I felt like I had grown wings.I had walked out of a book shop with some modest shopping in my hands.I had never loved myself as much before. My act was somehow empowering, enhancing, exciting and such similar superlatives that put me up on a pedestal so high, that even I could not reach me.The whole feeling was oddly romantic, and supremely pleasurable.<br /><br />I cannot claim to be a voracious reader. But I do justice enough to call reading an interest, and have come so far as to have nutured a palate for such writing that is simple enough to implant in me a bit of the story itself.<br /><br />I live in a collective of my own worlds, built from silly tales of speaking animals and impressive characters from my favourite stories. I live in the descriptive smells of cauldrons boiling with soup and the verbose narrations of the market place of suburban mumbai.I can hear the sounds when I read - be that Noddy's toy car or the brutal beating cracked down on a wife. My chest explodes with breath, as the words unravel before my eyes.<br /><br />I see every scene as a page out of a writer's book. As if it was her creation and her painting. As if it took birth in text, in slanted cursive writing on yellowing parchment, that was tied into a bundle with some coir rope and abandoned into a corner to gather sweet smelling dust.And when I see it, murky at first and vivdly later,it all looks so unreal. So evasive.Yet enticing enough to beckon me to live in it. And so I do. Live each scene from my life like a chapter from a story that I did not pen. I feel philosophical in one sense. As if I have just conjured up my own theory of life. And then it runs away- my theory- skimpers away like a rabbit, closes itself like touch-me-not even before I reach it.Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-57334030949459482082009-04-16T11:21:00.001+05:302009-04-16T12:30:42.944+05:30Dear Almost-dead-blog:Dear Almost-dead-blog:<br /><br />Hi!<br /><br />My fingers have been itching to post something in here. Ever since I got married. Phew!!!finally!! It was not that difficult. Pretty matter of fact ain't it? Everyone gets married. And so did I.<br /><br />My thoughts are still hazy. But my emotions are not. And I will let them flow. I won't keep them bottled any more.<br /><br />Suddenly I feel disjoint,<br />I feel scattered up in pieces,<br />Some parts fresh, and some foiled,<br />I'm finally out of recess.<br /><br />I don't want to pick up my past,<br />I will just let it be,<br />I knew those days would never last,<br />And sometime I will break free.<br /><br />And now the time has come,<br />And you have given me your hand,<br />With you, I've made my run,<br />To embark upon your sands.<br /><br />And you welcome me with warmth,<br />And that I did not own before,<br />Suddenly I am swarmed,<br />And you begin to heal my sores.<br /><br />It is for this I have waited,<br />Waited for ever now,<br />For the winds I have waited,<br />To come and teach me love.<br /><br />And though I feel disjoint,<br />I feel I am born,<br />And now I find the point,<br />That I have missed this long.<br /><br />And you take me in your arms,<br />And we prepare to fly,<br />I want to break into a dance,<br />I love to be your wife.Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-47830588417696809022009-03-01T13:58:00.003+05:302009-03-01T14:43:25.090+05:30Random me!<div style="text-align: justify;">Hot Sunday afternoon, and I feel like a house wife for many reasons. I've washed my clothes and left them on the cloth line in the terrace to dry. I've dusted every piece of furniture at home, and swept and swabbed the house. I've also had my lunch and claimed my few hours to myself. Todays a sunday, I'm 24 and feel this way. I wonder what my sunday will be like when I'm 26-28 and I wonder what will happen with the passing of time. Already my eyes feel sleepy and I'm tempted to doze off when I realised I've been tagged by the wonderful <a href="http://currypan.wordpress.com/">Aarabi</a>. Its been ages since I've done a tag! and so I will not let this pass.<br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">10 random things about me. If anyone cares, read on:</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">1. I love spot lights. Especially when they're focussed on me. Dance, drama, performing arts- you get the drift. I love them all. And hence I feel jealous of performers at lovely auditoriums such as the Anna Arangam and Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan at Chennai and the Ravindra Kalakshetra and the Chowdiah Memorial Hall at Bangalore. </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">2. I love sugary food. Just about anything sugary and vegetarian. I think I'm saying this for the umpteenth time on my blog- that I'm darned sure of dying of renal failure. I don't care!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">3. I belong to the sun sign - Leo. I'm proud of that and am so grateful that I narrowly escaped Virgo. I dislike Virgo. I'm not sure I have a reason. But I don't like Virgo. In fact the only thing I wanted my life partner not to be is - Virgo!</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">4. I want to leave behind traces of my life, when I'm dead and gone. Since I'm Hindu, I probably won't have an epitaph. Instead I'll probably author some books.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">5. I'd like to be known as a well read person. academic accomplishment is extremely important to me. I do not associate academic excellence and career growth.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">6.I'm religious. I like being that way, and I wonder how many more janmas I'll take to be someone like Andaal or MeeraBai.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">7. I think I live life by some principles. Mostly. But sometimes, I don't know what comes over me, I just let it temporarily vanish.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">8. Till just a while ago, I'd say I wanted to live just until forty. I don't think I subscribe to that view now. Or do I? I'm confused.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">9. I think I love the little pleasures of life. Like watching the traffic go by as I sit by myself at Barista, ordering the deadly - devil's bite, rain pelting down outside. Colourful umbrellas. I think I can spot beauty even in the most mundane, urban setting.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">10. I can't let go of people. Even at the railway station, I cry like a baby.</div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: justify;">Almost every blogger I know has done this one. So I'm not passing it on. Do it if you feel upto it! </div><div style="text-align: justify;"><br /></div>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-51137813355322892222009-02-22T18:21:00.003+05:302009-02-24T10:03:47.232+05:30My day. My way.So many faces, they look at me,<br />Now I can read the expressions,<br />Now, after all this time, I can see,<br />Them brim with with expectation.<br /><br />I know this is a new phase now,<br />And there is a different beauty,<br />And I see it though I don't know how,<br />I can see it though I'm not so free.<br /><br />I'm unsure how much my shoulders will bear,<br />I'm unsure how much I will strain,<br />But suddenly now I've begun to care,<br />For a trace of a smile, no matter frail.<br /><br />It's all so different now,<br />And I'm not even sure how I feel,<br />Events will turn though I don't know how,<br />And I cease to be free.<br /><br />But still there is pleasure of a sort,<br />Or am I just trying to cheat me?<br />I cannot tell my way in the dark,<br />Yet I feel I can see.<br /><br />And that is what drives me on,<br />And that is how I face the day,<br />And that is why I'm ready for the dawn,<br />And and pick my shaky way.Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-60715473038192327812009-01-29T09:23:00.003+05:302009-01-29T12:36:15.778+05:30UntitledAnd now I pour my heart,<br />For all I have is words,<br />So many from the past,<br />I do not have to search.<br /><br />The tears they now flow free,<br />The tears - flood me,<br />Just come down like a mound,<br />Bringing down with it me.<br /><br />I was a strong girl once,<br />Twas something of a pride,<br />Now for no apparent reason,<br />Tears well up in my eyes.<br /><br />And all I have now,<br />Are just empty empty words,<br />Once they meant a lot,<br />Some smiles and a dash of dirt.<br /><br />They come pouring out of me,<br />Like the tears from my eyes,<br />Free flowing words and water,<br />But where to go from there?<br /><br />Orphaned, unclaimed, they stay,<br />To stagnate and and be forgot,<br />Expect to go as quite as they came,<br />But leave a messy blotch.Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-87904654122192227932009-01-25T17:11:00.002+05:302009-01-25T17:24:23.070+05:30The Wait...As I wait for a message from you,<div>I think of the past when time just flew.</div><div>And now the rigid minutes,</div><div>Rock solid.</div><div><br /></div><div>As if they were to say,</div><div>That they will hold the day,</div><div>Until my phone tells me,</div><div>That you are on your way.</div><div><br /></div><div>Although the reason sounds genuine,</div><div>Its my monkey mind,</div><div>I wonder whats keeping you,</div><div>Trailing so far behind.</div><div><br /></div><div>Events that have just passed,</div><div>Add colour to my thoughts,</div><div>I worry my unstable mind over,</div><div>The next bridge I am to cross.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've never been this scared before,</div><div>And I'm not a nervous wreck,</div><div>Just, my past has taught me,</div><div>Lessons I'll never forget.</div><div><br /></div><div>But I still wait for you,</div><div>I know that you will come,</div><div>Something's given me cue,</div><div>Of the rising sun.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-84967478043521425692009-01-19T22:20:00.008+05:302009-01-22T13:37:35.797+05:30Silly thoughts...I crept out of bed,<br />Dead in the middle of the night<br />Just one thought in my head,<br />Just one vision holding my sight.<br /><br />There was this cupboard at home,<br />A 'meat safe' it was called,<br />And my oh my it had borne,<br />The best food that I can think of.<br /><br />So this night it was a chocolate wafer,<br />That came to me in my dream,<br />And that was a juicy offer,<br />More true than it could seem.<br /><br />I tip toe in the sleeping house,<br />Under the night bulb fighting dark,<br />I can work quite as a mouse,<br />And will be done in a spark.<br /><br />In the dark the meat safe stands,<br />Throwing an admirable silhoutte,<br />Like a beach with golden sands,<br />And on my mission I'm all set.<br /><br />I'm in the midst of a killer life,<br />And thats why I steal by night,<br />I'm on a pathetic diet,<br />And on my way to becoming light.<br /><br />So I open the safe with trembling hands,<br />To be transported to cookie land,<br />I bend and reach out to the jar,<br />But oh my! I'm terribly far!<br /><br />It seems like I have a battle,<br />Before I reach my pot of treasure,<br />So I prepare for war- horse and saddle,<br />Ready to take on adventure.<br /><br />Wonder who my enemy was?<br />A reptile particularly unlucky with beauty,<br />In complete violation of nature's laws,<br />Sat there guarding my booty.<br /><br />Ugly eyes blink at me,<br />No fear, valiant warrior,<br />Enough courage to make me freeze,<br />That unsightly large lizard!<br /><br />Well now thats his home,<br />And he does not move,<br />My legal skills I'm soon to hone,<br />And that battle I will not lose.<br /><br />I sit preparing for an eviction proceeding,<br />The first of such in history,<br />My resolve ever increasing,<br />Against the lizard- to rise in victory.Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-61501821368257110332009-01-16T12:39:00.003+05:302009-01-16T14:48:34.683+05:30Still New?<p align="justify">Right! So the new year came, and is still fairly new to warrant the term. Neither did I die nor go into deep slumber in the last few months that I have not been actively blogging. Its also not the lack of inspiring subjects to write on nor the absence of those who inspire me to write. </p><p align="justify">That clarified, my fortune on Orkut reads some what as such : "Its better to fight and lose rather than not fight at all. " Theoretically, I'm a subscriber to the view and a proud one at that. But all this optimism is too blinding at times.</p><p align="justify">When my morale took a plunge for the infinity plus infinity th time last week, I came up with a piece of rhyme, I revelled in. But on hind sight, I thought it was too cynical a post to begin the year with, and hence it was trashed. </p><p align="justify">I was at a temple yesterday, where Andal Kalyanam was performed. Offerings had overflowed, and the sweets that caught my attention were a part of that excess. My reflex thought was about how I could I needed to use no stealth in polishing off that unattended temptation. And I wanted to write.</p><p align="justify">The other day, I was executing for the umpteenth time of my life a weight loss plan. I happened to notice enthusiastic joggers on the newly built flyover on G.N.Chetty Road. Amused, I decided to blog. That never happened.</p><p align="justify">I don't know if its coincidental that what I plan never happens and what happen's is usually what I've never planned. But its rather disturbing. So this year, I'm deciding to be open, not expect my plans to work, and still enjoy what eventually works. The decision is like my orkut fortune. And lets see how far I get!</p><p></p>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-24300815184232209232008-11-30T19:35:00.003+05:302008-11-30T20:01:22.157+05:30Terrorised...I have just returned after a brief outing in the near by marketplace. One thing that struck me was if someone was to open fire in one of those extremely crowded shops, there would certainly be no escape and probably more people would die of the stampede than bullets. It then struck me , that terrorism has become passe. Its rather alarming to be thinking about such things on a Sunday evening, when one supposed to be ideally unwinding. <div><br /></div><div>But given whats been happening in amchi mumbai, one better stop to give a thought to all that is lost in the nuture of utmost hatred. The event has left me short of words. </div><div><br /></div><div>What I have been unable to articulate, has been so expertly brought out by a good friend of mine, which you too can read by clicking <span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: none;"><a href="http://drumsndreams.blogspot.com/2008/11/2611-beyond-statistics.html" style="">here</a>. I think what he's written is simply perfect, and strongly recommend you read it too. </span></div><div><br /></div><div>For now,</div><div>All I can do is a silent prayer.</div>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-4945015711647545072008-11-07T10:26:00.004+05:302008-11-07T12:17:59.939+05:30StilledI heard there is a virus in the air which is giving half of this city a bad time! But I also think there is another of these microscopic organisms thats giving half the bloggers a "writers block". Have been reading quite a bit these days hoping I suddenly get the inspiration! And I've seen a considerable quantity of ranting.<br /><br />I'm not sure what it is. And I cannot seem to make out my mood . I'm not even under one of those cribby, whiny spells. I think I've resigned to fate or something. Whoa!!thats scary...but what ever. But yes I think I'm kinda waiting for a lot of things to happen. This is a funny phase you know- this 22-25 age, where you're done or atleast almost done with education. You've got a job, but still finding your waters on the job. And you know you've got to be patient. Just stay still for a while and only then the sea won't swallow you. The fact is you know at 24 you are not really "settled" in your job. But hell you can't be settled at 24.Then you be bloody buried by 32!<br /><br />Then its the love life. At this age you probably have a girl friend /boy friend whom you really love or something. But whether marriage will be a necessary fall out of that, you can never say. You're in the waiting there as well. Insecurites hover around. May be this relationship has none of the sparkle left from the college days when it first begun. May be profession takes a priority. May be distance takes a toll. May be he/she is just not the one. what do you do? Wait! I don't mean to sound like a fatalist. But really there's nothing much you could do...And if you are my pathetic single bloke, then you register on one of these matrimonial sites, and wait for Cupid's arrow to strike your heart. Its pretty much like that...Not like in college when you've got deadlines and proper yard sticks. And could smoke up or get so drunk and think it solved every possible issue that required to be addressed. At 24 you know that its not true and its terrible to get to work with a hang over. Plus there's this voice of responsibility that kinda never shuts up. So you begin doing silly things like binge on food or clothes or something.<br /><br />You've got your dreams and they get bigger by the day. Well they're meant to. But you cannot go all out for them. You don't have the darned dough for it!! What do you! Bulls eye! Wait. It reminds me of those finger on lips (that sounds corny for some reason now!) sessions in primary school, when we were asked to just shut up for a few minutes. I remember even then I used to get uneasy. Silence is just not my cuppa tea, you see. And so even now, I feel like a jack in the box waiting for life to start.<br /><br />Or I'm not sure if this period of inertia is like a period of thanksgiving for all that you got until now, and in preparation for the rickety rockety ride that follows. Its a cranky phase you know, like one of those arbit stops the train makes in the middle of nowhere because its not got the go signal. And I'm getting impatient and fat, munching on all those fillers!Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-75237960577150471132008-10-17T22:36:00.008+05:302008-10-22T11:22:36.561+05:30Tagged!Good Whiskey-Scotch is not an Obsession- Just a secret!Been tagged by <a href="http://slipperysurface.blogspot.com/">Inexplicably</a> this time, and its about obsessions. I'm perpetually whining about how there's so much to do and so little time. So I presume 5 obsessions must be easy to come up with. I'm usually obsessed with mundane things, and like Murphy's propositions - the more I'm obsessed, the less i do the thing. Simple things are not getting done. Its just that I've got so many things going at the same time and in order to do reasonable justice to all, some of the things which is not-really-an-emergency and some of those wee-bit-boring-things do remain unfinished. For example, the market's crashing and everyone says its a good time to get in. But I don't have the time to sign up for a trading /demat account, because I'd rather spend those hours and that effort in front of mybooks, even if I am not exactly studying. What I'm doing is really a fire fighting job, minimum damage under maximum pressure.<br /><br /><br /><br />When I began to write this I thought I've lost obsessions, but no,i guess its not that way...I still have em, (haah!!i'm still alive) just they are not like- right-there-in-the-face-type obsessions. They are just those deep seated obsessions which may not do the vanishing act just like that.<br /><br /><br /><br />Bharatanatyam is my first. And I can say it sans all the murkiness I may associate with the rest. I've learnt the dance form for a long time now, and though I have not done it too many times, the stage and spotlights are something which could be my second and third obsessions. No matter how boring or drab I might sound, Bharatanatyam has taught me how to present myself publicly, its taught me some grit to survive in the midst of a life that went terribly out of track some months ago, its taught me hard work. I don't proclaim to do justice to fact that I've got things going with this form of dance, but it still is my life. I'd love to get into that kalakshetra saree and wear my kaajal and bindi and chalangai and commit myself to it. May be I would have done it if certain things were another way. But somewhere along the way formal education took a toll on my passion. I'm also the epitome of this attempt to be so many things at the same time, that leaves me in such incredulous situations.Siiiiiiiiiigghh!<br /><br /><br /><br />Academics is my second. At 45 I'd love to be an academician who's going to her post doctoral fellowship thesis on something to do with law, women, religion, economics and the communist theory. How I'm going to link em all up, I have no clue now. Forty five is a long way to go. I have time I guess.In the process, I'd love to be an inspirer. Someone at whom atleast one person will point her fingers at and say- "wish I could be like her".<br /><br /><br /><br />My third would be sugar. Yea. You read me right. Sugar it is! Candy, mithai, ice cream, dessert, pastries - you get the drift. I'm dead sure I'm going to die of renal failure. But hell!I'm going to die anyway. So I have no qualms. I love it and will stay this way.<br /><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_VCHFEPaug">Vishaka Hari</a> is my fourth. She is a performer par excellence and man!!is she good!She is basically into musical discourses on Hindu mythology. One need not be religious to listen to her. Its like a story telling, and how alive she brings the story. The thing with her musical renditions is that the package deal as such is just perfect. Her make-up, costume, music, expressions. She is an inspirer and a great one at that. I won't waste her with my words. She fabulous and will stay that way!<br /><br /><br /><br />My fifth obsession is my past. The more I run away from it, the faster it gets to me. I don't mean to sound like someone with a crazy past or anything. Mine's been pretty normal. Usual. Nothing extraordinary. But many times I'm always caught in this effort of being different from what I was.I'm not trying to sound like one of those ideal characters from a self help book. But either I don't like what I've done or how I've been. Sometimes, I feel like I'm running away from myself. Yea I know I sound like i need a shrink right away. May be I do, cos there are days when I drive myself nuts. So, yea...thats been five I guess.<br /><br /><br /><br />I'm supposed to tag five people. But I wont do it. Simply cos, most ppl have already done this tag, plus I'm not really in the mood for tagging. But if someone reading this actually feels like, tag along. And lemme know. Will be a pleasure.Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-19851552961584975962008-10-17T15:16:00.005+05:302008-10-17T23:10:07.141+05:30Scared to Smile...I'm too scared to smile any more,<br />Someone's jealous of my joy.<br /><br />A well said joke,<br />A bout of stinging sarcasm,<br />A subtle, secret exchange.<br /><br />I must stand stoic.<br />I must stand stoic.<br /><br />I have had some good times,<br />But that attracted prying eyes,<br />I'm too scared to smile any more,<br />Someone's jealous of my joy.<br /><br />And though the good times are back,<br />I know the graph by now,<br />And not stupid enough to make believe,<br />That those eyes have stopped to follow me.<br /><br />And though I wait for my phone to ring,<br />I wait for those late night calls,<br />I know the fairy will cease to sing,<br />And then I will fall.<br /><br />But I must stand stoic.<br />I must stand stoic.<br /><br />I'm too scared to smile any more,<br />Someone's jealous of my joy.Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-32781670643856236142008-10-10T23:53:00.007+05:302008-10-12T12:24:32.031+05:30From Me to Myself- A letter to the 18yr old me.<p>When I saw <a href="http://undefinedoxymoron.blogspot.com/2008/10/letter-to-my-18-year-old-self.html">this </a>on Merc's blog, my brain which has already been woking overtime since this morning was sort of sneering at the other part of my brain which keeps hushing it.</p><p>Active Brain: See you fool!!wake up! Everyone's brains are meant to work. Stop campaigning for the lazy brain syndrome.</p><p>Lazy Brain: Oh ok...good for you. You found another idiot like you. Enjoy!!!</p><p>So basically, this is an attempt to put me under the magnifying glass, in communication with the 'me' that I was some six years ago.</p><p>Nivi,</p><p>Am sure you are wondering who exactly I am with the kind of time and inclination as this to give free advice and that too to a stranger.You might not know me now, but you shall definitely recognise me one day, and that day you'll give me a hug because you will know that it has been stupid to disregard my words of wisdom. </p><p>You must first learn that dreams will be dreams, and will stay that way. So don't imagine yourself arguing before the full judge bench of the Supreme Court, you aren't even going to argue before a 1/100th bench. What you are infact going to do, is sign up for the most boring job in the world which neither measures up to your pocket nor your intellect. But since you have a great deal of dedication in you, you will still see traces of the trait half a decade later, that will suddenly fire up and catapult you into an orbit and will leave you there until you maintain some momentum.</p><p>You should also know that clarity in decision making is supremely and positively more important than the decision. Life is not always about giving it the best shot, its also about directing your efforts only into necessary channels and not into some moronic men who like the black hole will fleece you of all your energy and vitality, and will leave you with the value of a game ball in a spell of examinations. You will also learn the everyone has the fundamental right to be mean, snide and horrid to you. And you have the same right too. If you in the garb of your value system decide not to exercise it, the law of waivers will prevail. </p><br /><p>You will also learn to be alone, hated and unwanted.If none of these words feature in your dictionary now, make sure to leave some space for them, cos otherwise in the process of gaining their territory they will forcefully evict peace, joy and smile, without leaving any scope for right or remedy. You will have mastered the art of walking past a person giving him/her the impression that you never noticed, when actually you'd have even done a better job than a super powerful microscope. You will also have gone to a restaurant all by yourself and watched a movie alone. May be in another few years you'd even walk into a pub and sip your drink alone. I'm not saying it's a bad life coming your way, I'm saying its going to be terrible.</p><br /><p>You will also learn that your temper does you no bloody good at all. If you dislike X there are other ways of showing him that, rather than transforming your vocal cords into a blaring loud speaker at the very sight of which people shut their ears anyway. </p><p>In the coming years, one day you will suddenly wake up to the fact you are single, and have no life! You will then realise that finding love is hard for you beacuse in your own analysis, you are not the average girl. You will eventually become so paranoid that you will begin to wonder if ever you will find 'the' man. You will also learn that even in love there is always selfishness. You are a baby now, and though it might be hard to digest you must know that 'you' are never priority for anyone else, even if you are dying or almost dead, and have no sins in your account tally.</p><br /><p>You will also learn that you will never be thin or less fat than what you are now. You will be so sure of dying of renal failure or a chocked artery with all that Ghee from the sweets you ate. But hell thats the only thing which will make you happy without any immediate threats or risks or dangers such as the feeling of being taken for granted and being walked upon like a door mat. So you will rate food as the greatest investment with least risk and great returns! </p><p>Somethings, particularly some people will never change and you will learn the art of keeping them out of your way. You will have also frozen your heart so hard, that you will find ample justification in doing that. </p><p>But in all this disarray, you will still be in the wait. After all, optimism is the only thing that keeps you from getting suicidal. You will still have dreams. You will still make plans to chase them, and atleast try to execute those plans. And just in case all the above has scared you to death, let me give you the last piece of bad news - you will still be alive!<br /></p><p>Love and best wishes,</p><p>Edita Krishnan</p><p>(Edita cos thanks to technology, you are denied the right to use ur whole name here...n krishnan cos u realise it makes up for the incomplete first part)</p>Well thats you...with a sense of humour so good that no one can ever get you :PSugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-65440126075312138982008-10-08T22:26:00.007+05:302008-10-10T10:47:52.167+05:30Chennai, Navarathri and How I found Bliss...Although the Navarathri is technically celebrated for nine days, I effectively got only two days to sort of lounge in the glory of the festivities, thanks to my ultimately screwed up daily routine, which results in my being so thankful for getting three extra minutes in bed. Anyway, since cribbing takes up a substantial part of time otherwise, I'll keep this post water tight from any leaks of my perpetual ramble.<br /><br />Well yesterday and today, really makes me so happy to be here in Chennai, though ideally I would have liked to round off today with a kutcheri by the Priya Sister's. Notwithstanding that, the last two days were very fulfilling.<br /><br />If you have followed my writing so far, you must know, I have an adept interest in intently overhearing conversations that do not fit me in the loop. Hence, in the exercise of my most effecient skill, I learnt that Kaali Bhari, in west mambalam had a great Durga Pooja going. No no, I am not bengali (though a very dear friend of mine thinks I speak Bengalised Tamil... :P) but I still decide to make it there. When I entered the temple precincts, the first thought that came to my mind was an understanding of the reason behind why photography is banned in many temples. The beauty of the Lord is so immense that one would never want to even take her eyes off for a moment, and to capture it in a still does no justice to the eyes or the beauty. We were there for the Aarthi. I've not seen anything of the like before, and was therefore, was even more in awe. I've seen devotees in ISCKON dance in surrender before Krishna, but there everyone is dancing to the beats of the Dholak, its a different kind. Here the priest broke in to a little dance as he offered fruit and flowers and camphor. It was a gentle dance, where I felt he really was enjoying his job. There were two percussion instruments, the names of which I do not know. One could have been a dholak and the other a big dholak. The third was a metallic instrument, somewhat like a gong. so as they played the beats, he sways - this way and that- like a leaf in a gentle breeze with the offering in his hand, and I am so sure that the Goddess would have been compelled in that atmosphere to grant any wish that the priest had in mind. At that moment I thought I felt bliss, and any more words that I write will really be empty.<br /><br />If I felt part 1 of bliss yesterday, today was part 2. I think I have not felt this elated in a loooooonnnnng time. I wore my <em>chalangai</em> after 6 long years, and man! let me tell you, those years were really unfulfilling. The jingling of the bells is really my favourite sound in the whole world! Bharatanatyam has meant a world to me, and is very very dear. I only hope I get back on stage to do a few performances. We also did an evening temple visit to Agasthiar temple behind pondy bazzar in T.Nagar where the puja style was back to the usual tam-brahm, and special pujas were done for Goddess Saraswathi. This is the reason I love this city. None of my needs ever feel incomplete.<br /><br />Truthfully, I am not competent enough to sustain an argument on the presence or absence of God. Neither is it my endeavour. I simply accept some things because I love it, irrespective of whether logic and reasoning can be awarded to it. Colour and culture will always remain my most favourite facets of life. It is a world by itself, and that's where I have my space!Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-2760590874321461122008-09-28T21:21:00.003+05:302008-09-28T21:54:57.974+05:30Even more of me!!<p>Today has been a ridiculous day for the following ten reasons:(don't blame me for this text book style. I've just been reading too much of it lately)</p><p>1. My granny and me did not say a word to each other, had our meals independently although we were not in a fight. This would have otherwise fallen under the head of 'cold war'. But since there was no 'war' per se, I'd just say, things were cold.</p><p>2. Speaking of the cold, the rhino virus seems to have tracked me down, just when I thought I had outwitted it and escaped. My nose seems to vie for the spot of water body with largest number of tributories.</p><p>3. I learnt a bit about mergers and amalgamations. Apparently the terms mean the same under the Companies act 1956, but the Income Tax Act, just got smarter! Its distinguishes the two.</p><p>4. In a long time now, I stopped checking my phone every ten seconds to see if there was a missed call or message. I've improved from what I was- there was a time when calls even from HSBC bank call centre were welcome. That provided the only proof that my cell phone performed the basic funtion of ringing!</p><p>5. I have not given my Activa a bath. Its something I've been procrastinating for days! Thank God automobiles don't suffer from body odour!</p><p>6. I had tomato flavoured top ramen with olives. The combination is not bad. But I did not find a fork, and had to adjust with a spoon. I learnt that using my fingers would have been better.</p><p>7. I can't decide if right now, I'm in a good mood or bad. Trust me thats how jobless I tend to become, even with nearly 2500 pages of heavy duty reading to do, before my upcoming exams!</p><p>8. I'm bored as hell of my clothes, half of which might dupe the census survey board to classify me in the BPL range, the other half which have become the bone of bearing the brunt of my hatred towards tailors in Chennai, and the third half(ya ya...I know, this is not a math lesson!) which makes me miss my tailor back home!!</p><p>9. I think I killed a lizard while sweeping my home today. I did not do it on purpose. I'm thankful, that the lizard is such an underrated reptile. Imagine if I had killed a crocodile instead....</p><p>10. I've been thinking of buying a camera. Extremely inspired by <a href="http://chennaidailyfoto.wordpress.com/">this</a>. But I figured, I'll restrict myself to writing things which make no sense. There is no point offending reality. It never gets offended( and they call me thick skinned!).</p><p> </p>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4465856553244680603.post-44385108924720807442008-09-26T12:53:00.003+05:302008-09-26T14:25:09.255+05:30Just more of me...!<p>Sometimes I wonder if I have two brains rolled into one, cos even when I've been through a night of guilt for giving such an unproductive day at work, my brain is parallelly at work on the next day passionately thinking up ideas on my next blog. Its another thing that ever since I've started this I seem to have an obsession, and sometimes I feel I'm kind of making up for all that writing I missed out on doing, when I was in a state of ignorantia blogosphere. Plus there are some really nice people like merci who prod me on to do what I most love doing, and therefore it seems like the whole world around me is conspiring to make me write.(you know where I copied that from!)</p><p> </p><p>Sometime back a friend of mine told me she was going on a date with her you know whom( somehow, right now I think the word boy friend is inappropriate). But that only added velocity to the orbit on which I have been circumambulating lately. Its been on my mind for quite a while now as to how exactly it is that I've managed to stay single so long. I don't believe that one should stay young forever. Cos face it- we get old!!! Hell we do, every minute! And there is really nothing wrong or bad about having grey hair as a fall out of the years spent on this planet. Damn! there better be proof that I survived here this long and if the grey wisps and adding pounds is the only certificate, I really don't mind it! Plus I think the olny thing I don't rebel against, is nature. Amen!!</p><p> </p><p>O.k so after that slight digression, I'm back on my orbit. Its rather funny how I've stayed this way right through college - five long years of it, and one year of being an employed youth, thus adding to the gross domestic product of this country. Its not that I've never had a 'thing' for anyone! Its just that things usually fizzle out in a couple of months for various reasons, none of which are as interesting as Agatha Christie's murder plot. So I'm not going to delve into such lifeless topics. Also its for certain that I'm in no great grand desperation to be hooked on or something. But its just when I look at most people around my age, many of whose relationships have culminated in commitment or marriage or atleast someone with whom atleast they can spend a rainy saturday afternoon, unlike me, who gains such immense pleasure just watching it pour down from my window and get all poetic and all. I wonder really what it is with me and myself? I wonder if I've missed out on anything, and then when someone tells me she's not a sizzling brownie person because she's never liked chocolate, and I know for sure its just her weight cares about more than what she really really likes, I can tell that I have a better quality of life!For sure!</p><p> </p><p>But seriously speaking, may be its just that as usual I set high standards, that are so high after all! Or may be its just luck that number 1 proves more lucky for me than two. Sometimes I wonder if everything is 'normal' about me. But yea, I know it is. But if normal is 'average' then I'm not sure of my answer. Right now, I think of what someone who possibly reads this would say about me. Like I said in my last post, I hate it when people think its their fundamental right to judge me.(Hell!!its mine!...nah...not really!) Well if you really are thinking something about me, you can say it. Freedom of expression is a fundamental right as well and there's no denying it!</p>Sugarhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16014512427704995796noreply@blogger.com12