Tagged!Good Whiskey-Scotch is not an Obsession- Just a secret!

Been tagged by Inexplicably this time, and its about obsessions. I'm perpetually whining about how there's so much to do and so little time. So I presume 5 obsessions must be easy to come up with. I'm usually obsessed with mundane things, and like Murphy's propositions - the more I'm obsessed, the less i do the thing. Simple things are not getting done. Its just that I've got so many things going at the same time and in order to do reasonable justice to all, some of the things which is not-really-an-emergency and some of those wee-bit-boring-things do remain unfinished. For example, the market's crashing and everyone says its a good time to get in. But I don't have the time to sign up for a trading /demat account, because I'd rather spend those hours and that effort in front of mybooks, even if I am not exactly studying. What I'm doing is really a fire fighting job, minimum damage under maximum pressure.



When I began to write this I thought I've lost obsessions, but no,i guess its not that way...I still have em, (haah!!i'm still alive) just they are not like- right-there-in-the-face-type obsessions. They are just those deep seated obsessions which may not do the vanishing act just like that.



Bharatanatyam is my first. And I can say it sans all the murkiness I may associate with the rest. I've learnt the dance form for a long time now, and though I have not done it too many times, the stage and spotlights are something which could be my second and third obsessions. No matter how boring or drab I might sound, Bharatanatyam has taught me how to present myself publicly, its taught me some grit to survive in the midst of a life that went terribly out of track some months ago, its taught me hard work. I don't proclaim to do justice to fact that I've got things going with this form of dance, but it still is my life. I'd love to get into that kalakshetra saree and wear my kaajal and bindi and chalangai and commit myself to it. May be I would have done it if certain things were another way. But somewhere along the way formal education took a toll on my passion. I'm also the epitome of this attempt to be so many things at the same time, that leaves me in such incredulous situations.Siiiiiiiiiigghh!



Academics is my second. At 45 I'd love to be an academician who's going to her post doctoral fellowship thesis on something to do with law, women, religion, economics and the communist theory. How I'm going to link em all up, I have no clue now. Forty five is a long way to go. I have time I guess.In the process, I'd love to be an inspirer. Someone at whom atleast one person will point her fingers at and say- "wish I could be like her".



My third would be sugar. Yea. You read me right. Sugar it is! Candy, mithai, ice cream, dessert, pastries - you get the drift. I'm dead sure I'm going to die of renal failure. But hell!I'm going to die anyway. So I have no qualms. I love it and will stay this way.



Vishaka Hari is my fourth. She is a performer par excellence and man!!is she good!She is basically into musical discourses on Hindu mythology. One need not be religious to listen to her. Its like a story telling, and how alive she brings the story. The thing with her musical renditions is that the package deal as such is just perfect. Her make-up, costume, music, expressions. She is an inspirer and a great one at that. I won't waste her with my words. She fabulous and will stay that way!



My fifth obsession is my past. The more I run away from it, the faster it gets to me. I don't mean to sound like someone with a crazy past or anything. Mine's been pretty normal. Usual. Nothing extraordinary. But many times I'm always caught in this effort of being different from what I was.I'm not trying to sound like one of those ideal characters from a self help book. But either I don't like what I've done or how I've been. Sometimes, I feel like I'm running away from myself. Yea I know I sound like i need a shrink right away. May be I do, cos there are days when I drive myself nuts. So, yea...thats been five I guess.



I'm supposed to tag five people. But I wont do it. Simply cos, most ppl have already done this tag, plus I'm not really in the mood for tagging. But if someone reading this actually feels like, tag along. And lemme know. Will be a pleasure.

Chennai, Navarathri and How I found Bliss...

Although the Navarathri is technically celebrated for nine days, I effectively got only two days to sort of lounge in the glory of the festivities, thanks to my ultimately screwed up daily routine, which results in my being so thankful for getting three extra minutes in bed. Anyway, since cribbing takes up a substantial part of time otherwise, I'll keep this post water tight from any leaks of my perpetual ramble.

Well yesterday and today, really makes me so happy to be here in Chennai, though ideally I would have liked to round off today with a kutcheri by the Priya Sister's. Notwithstanding that, the last two days were very fulfilling.

If you have followed my writing so far, you must know, I have an adept interest in intently overhearing conversations that do not fit me in the loop. Hence, in the exercise of my most effecient skill, I learnt that Kaali Bhari, in west mambalam had a great Durga Pooja going. No no, I am not bengali (though a very dear friend of mine thinks I speak Bengalised Tamil... :P) but I still decide to make it there. When I entered the temple precincts, the first thought that came to my mind was an understanding of the reason behind why photography is banned in many temples. The beauty of the Lord is so immense that one would never want to even take her eyes off for a moment, and to capture it in a still does no justice to the eyes or the beauty. We were there for the Aarthi. I've not seen anything of the like before, and was therefore, was even more in awe. I've seen devotees in ISCKON dance in surrender before Krishna, but there everyone is dancing to the beats of the Dholak, its a different kind. Here the priest broke in to a little dance as he offered fruit and flowers and camphor. It was a gentle dance, where I felt he really was enjoying his job. There were two percussion instruments, the names of which I do not know. One could have been a dholak and the other a big dholak. The third was a metallic instrument, somewhat like a gong. so as they played the beats, he sways - this way and that- like a leaf in a gentle breeze with the offering in his hand, and I am so sure that the Goddess would have been compelled in that atmosphere to grant any wish that the priest had in mind. At that moment I thought I felt bliss, and any more words that I write will really be empty.

If I felt part 1 of bliss yesterday, today was part 2. I think I have not felt this elated in a loooooonnnnng time. I wore my chalangai after 6 long years, and man! let me tell you, those years were really unfulfilling. The jingling of the bells is really my favourite sound in the whole world! Bharatanatyam has meant a world to me, and is very very dear. I only hope I get back on stage to do a few performances. We also did an evening temple visit to Agasthiar temple behind pondy bazzar in T.Nagar where the puja style was back to the usual tam-brahm, and special pujas were done for Goddess Saraswathi. This is the reason I love this city. None of my needs ever feel incomplete.

Truthfully, I am not competent enough to sustain an argument on the presence or absence of God. Neither is it my endeavour. I simply accept some things because I love it, irrespective of whether logic and reasoning can be awarded to it. Colour and culture will always remain my most favourite facets of life. It is a world by itself, and that's where I have my space!