Random me!

Hot Sunday afternoon, and I feel like a house wife for many reasons. I've washed my clothes and left them on the cloth line in the terrace to dry. I've dusted every piece of furniture at home, and swept and swabbed the house. I've also had my lunch and claimed my few hours to myself. Todays a sunday, I'm 24 and feel this way. I wonder what my sunday will be like when I'm 26-28 and I wonder what will happen with the passing of time. Already my eyes feel sleepy and I'm tempted to doze off when I realised I've been tagged by the wonderful Aarabi. Its been ages since I've done a tag! and so I will not let this pass.

10 random things about me. If anyone cares, read on:

1. I love spot lights. Especially when they're focussed on me. Dance, drama, performing arts- you get the drift. I love them all. And hence I feel jealous of performers at lovely auditoriums such as the Anna Arangam and Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan at Chennai and the Ravindra Kalakshetra and the Chowdiah Memorial Hall at Bangalore. 

2. I love sugary food. Just about anything sugary and vegetarian. I think I'm saying this for the umpteenth time on my blog- that I'm darned sure of dying of renal failure. I don't care!

3. I belong to the sun sign - Leo. I'm proud of that and am so grateful that I narrowly escaped Virgo. I dislike Virgo. I'm not sure I have a reason. But I don't like Virgo. In fact the only thing I wanted my life partner not to be is - Virgo!

4. I want to leave behind traces of my life, when I'm dead and gone. Since I'm Hindu, I probably won't have an epitaph. Instead I'll probably author some books.

5. I'd like to be known as a well read person. academic accomplishment is extremely important to me. I do not associate academic excellence and career growth.

6.I'm religious. I like being that way, and I wonder how many more janmas I'll take to be someone like Andaal or MeeraBai.

7. I think I live life by some principles. Mostly. But sometimes, I don't know what comes over me, I just let it temporarily vanish.

8. Till just a while ago, I'd say I wanted to live just until forty. I don't think I subscribe to that view now. Or do I? I'm confused.

9. I think I love the little pleasures of life. Like watching the traffic go by as I sit by myself at Barista, ordering the deadly - devil's bite, rain pelting down outside. Colourful umbrellas. I think I can spot beauty even in the most mundane, urban setting.

10. I can't let go of people. Even at the railway station, I cry like a baby.

Almost every blogger I know has done this one. So I'm not passing it on. Do it if you feel upto it! 

My day. My way.

So many faces, they look at me,
Now I can read the expressions,
Now, after all this time, I can see,
Them brim with with expectation.

I know this is a new phase now,
And there is a different beauty,
And I see it though I don't know how,
I can see it though I'm not so free.

I'm unsure how much my shoulders will bear,
I'm unsure how much I will strain,
But suddenly now I've begun to care,
For a trace of a smile, no matter frail.

It's all so different now,
And I'm not even sure how I feel,
Events will turn though I don't know how,
And I cease to be free.

But still there is pleasure of a sort,
Or am I just trying to cheat me?
I cannot tell my way in the dark,
Yet I feel I can see.

And that is what drives me on,
And that is how I face the day,
And that is why I'm ready for the dawn,
And and pick my shaky way.

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And now I pour my heart,
For all I have is words,
So many from the past,
I do not have to search.

The tears they now flow free,
The tears - flood me,
Just come down like a mound,
Bringing down with it me.

I was a strong girl once,
Twas something of a pride,
Now for no apparent reason,
Tears well up in my eyes.

And all I have now,
Are just empty empty words,
Once they meant a lot,
Some smiles and a dash of dirt.

They come pouring out of me,
Like the tears from my eyes,
Free flowing words and water,
But where to go from there?

Orphaned, unclaimed, they stay,
To stagnate and and be forgot,
Expect to go as quite as they came,
But leave a messy blotch.